If you're looking for [Marie] you've come to the wrong place. My name's Sneed, Mortimor Sneed and I've got her. She's chained in my dungeon. Why? Because I felt like it. She's ugly and she stinks. That's a troll's idea of perfect (by the by).
She's currently working on her next craptastic novel..something to do with flying birds and death rays from some dude's hand. Wow, how lame. She's so stupid. Trust me, if she wrote a blog post you'd be bored. Oh wait, I think I hear her calling...
"Sneed, the fumes are getting to me. What kind of ink did you give me?"
I laugh. "Skunk juice."
"Oh gosh, I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Dance monkey, dance!!"
Did you hear that? The dull thud of a head hitting the desk? No. Hmm...maybe just me.
Yeah, she thinks I'm hot.